Namaste and welcome back to davesyndrom!
Before you start continuing reading, may you take a moment and reflect on how you feel; how have you been feeling in the last few weeks, months and how have 2023 been for you so far?
Lots of my blog posts begins with me feeling some type of way, mostly describing my up & downs that I feel sometimes. You may get that I’m always feeling sad or down, but that’s not the case. There are a lot of things that brings me joy and feel happy in certain moments. But as a human being, it is very common that we focus on the things that make us sad, more than the things that make us happy. But what if you’re not even able to find the source of what makes you sad? That’s when things get really rough, going through your daily life, feeling down and not knowing what’s the reason for it – I had that like couple of weeks ago and on top of that I had an awful insomnia – I couldn’t sleep more than 3 hours per night and that really made everything worse. Luckily it’s better now, and I feel more energized, stable and more happy again.
During this time, I had a crisis with myself; what was the reason for this issue? I couldn’t figure it out… But then, the other day I woke up, and my brain was going crazy with, thoughts came and go like thousands of lightning hitting at once and everyone described a thought.
Feeling sadness, not depression (difference between sadness & depression) can give you a very powerful source of energy. It can be like a fuel to you, because you recognize something is off, and you’re trying to get awareness towards what’s the reason of your sadness, you start to have inner conflicts with yourself and may go through a deep self-reflection.
Maybe it’s not always the external factors that are causing you sadness/unhappiness, maybe you’re just sick of yourself, and it’s an alert for you to change something!
It’s not good to blame things on external factors constantly, maybe it’s just you – you being sick of your own bad behavior patterns, you being sick for cheating yourself, you being sick for not working on the things you have in your mind.
Peace of mind comes from within. You can’t change the world, but you can change your thoughts. By achieving this, you might be able to change the way you receive things.
Suffering exists in our resistance to change. Our attachment to impermanence. Our desire to hold onto what has already been let go of.
For a long time it seemed like I had a good routine, maybe for a year. It contained that I was coming home after work, and then I’d do my cooking, packing my stuff that I’d need for the next day, a little bit of self-care. Anyway, I’d arrive at home at around 7.30 pm and finish my routine at around 9.00 – 9.30pm. After that I’d finish the time until I’d go to sleep at around midnight with useless things like; going through Instagram, watching non-informative YouTube videos etc. My excuse was always, that I need me time as well and time to relax by doing this. And here is the thing, relaxing, doing nothing are very important as well, but filling this gap before sleeping for over a year (because it was my routine), was a total waste of time. Also for the last month I haven’t done any meditation which I do commonly; now I have been saying I’ll do it then and when the then comes, I wouldn’t do it. So now I recognized it was mostly me, I’ve been stuck in my routine, in my comfort zone – so I need to change something about it, but don’t get me wrong, routines are extremely important!
Routines can help us to get the most important tasks done, manage our time more efficient, helps us keep us on track mentally, etc. But it’s also important to change them once in a while.
Have the battle with your inner voice, remind yourself that you’re not your thoughts. They came and they go. They can be extremely manipulating. If you weigh too much on your negative thoughts and focus too much on them, they may become your reality – your own – false reality. Get your power back of your own self – of your true identity, and fight against your bad, inner voice – the one that wants to bring you down. Forgive yourself, face your problems, and get to be the best version of yourself. Free yourself from all the negative things that are happening or have happened to you – let go from all the things you’re not and create yourself to the person you are and want to be. It requires time, be patient and trust your path; you may fall several times but may you have the energy to always get you back on track – you got this!
Cheers.